Stressed, Overwhelmed, Scared. These are some words to describe the search for College.
Being a people pleaser in this situation doesn’t help. Coming from a family of dysfunction and confusion, having a million opinions doesn’t help either.
3 years…That is the amount of time God gave me to continue my adolescence under godly authority, and a godly family. That is the amount of time the Lord used to open my eyes to what I need, not what I want. What I needed was foundation, support, and guidance. What do you think the Lord gave me?
3 years ago, I never suspected that I would have the ability to do half of the things I have been able to do at French Camp. 3 years ago, I never suspected that I would be accepted into Belhaven college. 3 years ago, I would have never guessed that more than half of the cost for Belhaven would be paid for.
College is a small word, but with so many words following… dorms, hundreds of people, jobs, real life, temptation, growing up… Temptation. That is a big one. I have a weak spot for easily following the crowd... and that is a factor in deciding my college…
7th grade – 11th grade my mind was set for my life. Junior college then University to study Education or Psychology. That was my plan.
12th grade mindset is different than all those other ones. I have seen, heard, and experienced a lot of things that have shown me what I don’t want to be around. Negativity, temptations... The Lord has used the past 3 years at French Camp to prepare me for this next stage of my life, and to show me what I do want in my life, and what I don’t want.
Doubt. That was what I was starting to feel. I was starting to believe that I was inevitably going to wind up at a junior college, I wasn’t going to make a difference, I wasn’t going to break the cycle, I just wasn’t going to be enough for a big private Christian college.
Prayer. Prayer is what it took. Praying, reading my Bible, Godly advice—asking the right questions, and asking God to direct my paths, asking Him to reassure that I was going to be where He wants me to be and not where ‘I’ want to be.
Hope. This is what I feel when I hear testimonies of others reaching a goal that seems extremely hard, testimonies from others who are where I am, testimonies of God’s never ending love for us and how He will always set us where we need to be.
Trial. the hardest part in deciding on my college. you should do this; no do this; no that’s not for you; you won’t reach that goal; getting messages telling me that I was trash and going to work at a low paying job for the rest of my life… I was confused, hurt, mad. They didn’t understand my determination, my goals, me. With God’s help, they will be proven wrong.
Peace. I am finally at peace. Visiting 3 other colleges besides Belhaven I felt empty, lost, not complete. Visiting Belhaven, I felt at home, love, comfort. Raising 90% of funds for a $30,000 school, getting prayers answered in the time they needed to be answered—the Lord was clearly at work in this.
Hopeful, Excited, Determined. These are some words to describe how I feel about college. Letting the Lord do his work is the best help in my situation. Love and support is what I needed. And that was what I got.